Wednesday, October 29, 2008


Now I don't usually like to say mean things about people... to their face anyhow ;)... and with this being the Internet and even though I'm sure I know the 5 people who read my blog... you never know who's out there creeping...

So really I shouldn't say anything... didn't your Momma ever tell you "if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all"? But Momma how come Larissa is the most popular girl in the class and THE BIGGEST BITCH AND MEANEST PERSON EVER??? HUH Mom? Huh???

So I won't say who... but in my life there are these two people... who may or may not be married to each other... who are absolutely horrible. I've never met anyone as nasty... EVER!!! I honestly didn't think people like this really existed!
The man is just plain rude and doesn't even acknowledge that you are there... and I met him first and thought... wow... the poor women married to him!
And then I met HER! And I tell you they were made for each other! She is horrid. And the worst part after being an absolute ?@#$&% bitch!!! She'll turn around and in the next sentence, switch her tone of voice, and ask ME to do HER a FAVOUR! Seriously women? And yet I do it! Every time! (And then I curse my Mother for making me this way!)
I had one horrible situation where I was with her and she was so rude and down right MEAN to this man who was just doing his job. And in the process she called a few people in town unintelligent bitches... yes she actually SAID BITCHES... (and in my head I was like hello? I or he might work with or like these people... so shut your face lady!) I WAS SO EMBARRASSED. When she left I basically got down on my knees and apologized for her behaviour. He was like, "Aw don't worry about it... I deal with lots of people like that in this business." How sad! There lots more people out there who would treat a complete stranger, who is JUST DOING HIS JOB that way?!
All I can say about that is: WHAT THE HELL?!

And then last night I caught a bit of This Hour Has 22 Minutes and realized that I can call this couple whatever names I want... to whomever I want...
BECAUSE THEIR WHITE... Whiteys... Trailer Trash... etc

See for yourself!

OK so I probably WON'T go ranting about them around town... because frankly I DON'T WANT TO SINK TO THEIR LEVEL! EVER! Yes my mother is behind that one as well! Thanks Mom... I am presuming these people didn't have parents who taught them these things... poor poor people.

PS. I have decided... now that I blasted someone on my blog... to allow anonymous comments again! OK so that's NOT true... I am just bummed out about the lack of comments! And hey I DID write about a yeast infection for goodness sakes... I am bound to offend, shock or embarrass someone... such as Clayton! ;)

Thursday, October 23, 2008

The broken button

Clayton: Have you fixed my pants yet?

Me: What pants?

Clayton: Those blue cargo pants.

Me: No. Did you ask me to fix them?

Clayton: No, but I put them on your sewing machine. (Duh!)

Me: Oh! So this is how married people are suppose to communicate? I get it!

Clayton: Not really.

Me: Well how do married people communicate then?

Clayton: Fix my pants WOMEN!

Me: You're cut off!

Clayton: What?!


Clayton: I tried. But I broke the button.

Me: How do you break a button?

Clayton: Easy.

Me: Well it can't be that easy... I never have!

Clayton: Well excuse me but I'm not a pro at the sewing machine!

Me: What were you doing on the sewing machine?

Clayton: (Dammit WOMEN) I was fixing my pants!

Me: Sewing on a button?

Clayton: YES. That's what I said!

Me: Well (DEAR) I sew my buttons on by hand.

Clayton: No you don't.

Me: Yes I do. I've never done it on a sewing machine...

Clayton: Hey me either... wanna go DO IT on the sewing machine???

Me: Focus Clayton! And anyhow... YOU'RE CUT OFF... remember?

MEN... so easily distracted!

Friday, October 17, 2008

For lack of nothing else to write...

Stories have been coming in a little sluggish around here as of late... or maybe my brain is just no longer interpreting things in an interesting story fashion!
Either way...
I'm feeling guilty for not posting much of interest lately... or much of anything at ALL!

So I searched deep into the realms of my recollection and found this:

Our airplane ride with my parent's neighbouring farmer this past September.

And NO I am NOT JUST going to post a picture! Surprised? I know!

So before we get into the rather flimsy looking plane, our pilot goes over some safety stuff. He points at a little shed part way down the grass runway that he uses a guide; if his wheels aren't off the ground by that point during take-off, then he needs to pull the throttle back and start again.

Then he chuckles.

It makes me a little nervous and I notice Clayton giving him a sideways glace as well.

And he starts to speak: Oh it's just this one time I was taking two larger guys... and I mean they were big guys... up for a spin and I told them to meet me at the SA airport. But they arrived in town early and decided to drive out to the farm instead.
Needless to say, I was a little surprised to see them pull up in the driveway, as the reason I wanted to meet them at the airport was because I wasn't sure if my runway was long enough to allow for my little plane to get off the ground with that kind of weight in tow.
But they were here now, so what was I to do? So we loaded into the plane and they were pretty excited as neither of them had been up in a small plane before.
So we're taxiing down the runway and I've got the throttle on full. As we pass the little shed my wheels aren't quite off the ground and I think briefly that I should give it another go. So I pull the throttle back a bit and by that time my wheels have lifted. So I second guess myself again and put the throttle back on full.

He pauses from his recollection and points over to a distance stand of trees.

See those trees over there. As we were coming up to them I was praying desperately to God that we make it over those trees. It looked like it was going to be close but there was nothing else I could do but keep the throttle on full. I'm sweating buckets and the wheels almost skim the top leaves, I swear. So there I am thanking the Lord that we made it over the trees and the guy in the front seat... who is totally oblivious, just sitting there enjoying the view... turns to me and says, "This is pretty cool. But have you ever had anything happen that really gave you a scare?"
I give it a moment to settle in and then answer his question, "Yes, actually I have, like only a few minutes ago... when we just about hit those trees... I almost shit my pants!"

Then he chuckles again, "I guess it just proves never to second guess yourself... especially twice!" And then he starts off towards the plane. He glanced back at the two of us, still standing where he'd left us and laughs. "I guess maybe I should have waited to tell you that story after we were safetly BACK on the the ground."

"Yeah," we laughed nervously in unison.

"Oh we'll be alright," he continued, "This time we'll be taking off in the other direction... the only thing we might hit is my field of corn!"

Thanks... that's really reassuring!

Moral of the story: Never believe a man with a metal spike protruding from his head!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Good ol' Mickey D's...

So I was on one of my recent trips to the homeland and I had a craving for some chicken MCnuggets.
And I was going through a place that had a McDonald's so I figured it only right to pull off the beaten track and satisfy my craving. Even though I hadn't been on the rode for very long, I am my Mother's daughter, so I figured it best to empty my bladder while I had the chance.
I went inside and got into a very long line, which I would soon find out was also very slow moving. But it's kind of one of those things... where you have waited for so long already it seems a waste to leave and REALLY have wasted that time with nothing to show for it! Plus I REALLY wanted some DAMN CHICKEN MCNUGGETS!

So I waited.

I think the problem was that it was shortly before 5pm and they didn't have on their full staff for the dinner rush, as well as the drive through was extremely busy and, as I would find out later, they had some newbies on the job!

So I got to the till, ordered and as I was waiting for my nuggets a guy comes in. He has a Big Mac box in his hand and heads straight to the till where a very young looking girl has just started her shift.

Mickey D employee: How can I help you?

Customer: I just went through the drive through and finally got my food and there was a BITE out of my burger when I opened it!

Mickey D employee: Pardon?

Man with bite out of burger: There was a BITE out of MY BURGER when I got it!

Mickey D employee: Oh... um... hold on please... (And she shuffles over and has a quiet conversation with the floor manager, who looks annoyed and then comes over to investigate.)

Floor Manager: What seems to be the problem here?

Man with bite out of burger: Like I said to her... THERE WAS A BITE OUT OF MY BURGER!

Floor Manager: (Saying nothing takes the burger from the man and heads over to where the burgers are being made. She is trying to speak quietly but her final sentence becomes quiet audible): NO! NO! NO! Taking a BITE out of a customer's burger IS NOT a form of initiation! NOT ACCEPTABLE!

Kind of makes you wonder doesn't it? And you know that kid isn't getting fired in this time of extreme labour shortage.

And I have to admit I still ate my nuggets... even though that little voice in the back of my mind kept saying: You know someone licked a nugget... you know it!

Saturday, October 4, 2008


With all the scenic views... majestic snow capped mountains... peaceful deep blue lakes... mossy forest vistas... cascading crystal waterfalls... it seems kind of ironic that my favorite picture from our Bella Coola excursion is the following...

With a misty morning backdrop...