Friday, August 29, 2008

Bella Coola

Clayton and I are leaving on Saturday for Bella Coola!
Yes this time we are taking our holidays together. BUT only PURELY because last time we got so many questioning looks and even actual inquiries... SO is everything alright with you two? Therefore this time we decided to JUST avoid the hassle of explaining that... NO marriage to us does NOT involve compromise.
So even though Clayton would rather spend his holidays in BI going for coffee at the fire hall and at the river fishing. And I of course would rather be spending my free time on the farm with my new love. We have decided for the sake of LOOKING LIKE A GOOD MARRIED COUPLE to spend our holiday together. SHOCKING I KNOW!

So we are heading in a round about way to Bella Coola. Stopping at my parents so I get to spend some time with my new love and coming back a little early so Clayton can spend a few days off in BI. Now if that isn't COMPROMISE then I don't know what is!!!

And so far every response to our trip has been similar to this... sounds like fun, um where IS Bella Coola? (And I FINALLY figured out how to do a link... it's so EASY I'm almost MORE embarrassed than happy... so click on Bella Coola to see where it is!)

And one other thing... that I am finally going to admit openly on my blog... since moving to the prairies I have become somewhat more nervous of BEARS.

Maybe it's the fact that I no longer bump into one crossing the road into the corn field on an early morning walk to the school bus in the fall... And I am no longer use to the normality of their presence. Or maybe it's just a thing that comes with age... fear of things you use to never think twice about. But more than likely I blame it on, Clayton's fear of bears, regrettably rubbing off on me. If you can't blame your spouse, then who can you blame?!

So when checking out all the info sites about Bella Coola the words... BEARS IN AREA... WILDLIFE ABUNDANT... GRIZZLY BEAR COUNTRY... LATE SUMMER AND FALL IS A TIME WITH A HIGH VOLUME OF BEAR TRAFFIC STOCKING UP FOR WINTER... really stuck out to me. But I took a deep breath and said to myself... for flock, flicking sakes Kimberly, you pussy assed flat lander, suck hole, baby licked loser, what has happened to you, REALLY?!!! And I of course immediately felt... WORSE... because... well that's just not nice to say to anyone... even yourself. AND because I wasn't sure what had actually happened to me... and I really wanted it to UN HAPPEN!

But I pushed on.

I found this Turner Lake Chain Canoe route, which looked very interesting. There was a 16km hike in... but you could rent canoes once you got in... that made it a possibility for us to do. So I asked my Dad to talk to the guy he knows who lives up there and find out any tips or good hike info.
About 10 minutes after I hung up with my Dad, the phone rang...

Hello.

Hey Kimberly. It was my Dad. I talked to Keith and he isn't going to be around but he is going to email some stuff about hikes and camping in the area.

Wow Dad, you're on top of things! Thanks!

Oh yeah and I asked him about the Turner Lake Chain and he said that it was quite a ways in but not that hard of a hike as it is made up of long switchbacks. They usually hike in and canoe some of the lakes and then get a lift out on a float plane.

Well that doesn't sound bad. And we could just hike back out too... depending on the price of a float plane ride, I guess.

Yeah he said the area was quite stunning, as it is so remote. Oh and you'd better pick up some bear spray... he suggested bringing 2 or 3 cans along with you, as the bears will be quite dense in the river bottom fishing for salmon but once your higher up they lessen off.


BEAR SPRAY? 2 OR 3 CANS!!! What? But, not wanting to sound like a pansy ass, out loud I said Well thanks Dad, I appreciate you checking into it for me.

I hung up the phone, still in disbelief.

2 OR 3 CANS OF BEAR SPRAY???!!! Like what does that even mean? Are you actually going to USE UP 2 or possibly 3 cans of bear spray during the course of the hike? Because if my memory serves me right bear spray is only effective with a close encounter with a bear... like if a bear was ATTACKING you and you used the bear spray to SAVE YOUR LIFE!

And I am sorry but if on this hike I will at some point... without a doubt... run into 2 to 3 BEARS who are most likely going to ensure that I make good use of 2 to 3 cans of BEAR SPRAY... I don't care how pansy assed it makes me sound... YOU CAN COUNT ME OUT!

I informed Clayton of the suggested 2 to 3 cans of bear spray and all he said was...
Screw the bear spray if we go on that hike I am packing my 30-30... and I'm NOT kidding.

So on that note... we're off to Bella Coola! Wish us luck! And by wishing us luck I mean pray that we don't become bear chow while on holidays! Just to make myself perfectly clear! THANKS! ;)
Check back in around Sept. 16 when I'll be back in BI and back to blogging! (Unless I, like the nerd I am, put up a post while I'm at Mom and Dad's!)

Thursday, August 28, 2008

You know you're cheap when...

Tonight I cut Clayton's hair.

3 hair cuts ago, on a whim, he bought a $30 clipper set... you know the really fancy one that comes with it's own pair of scissors! He took it out when he got home and announced that it was the price of 2 hair cuts and so I had 2 chances to prove that I would be successful at cutting his hair.

And tonight as I was cutting his hair I told him about the conversation I had today with the ladies at the Town Office.

It went something like this:

Town Office Lady: Wow your hair... you got it cut... it's short! I like it!

Other Town Office Lady: Yeah it looks really good.

Me: Thanks... yeah I really like it too!

And then it seemed as if the conversation would turn to another subject... and I have to tell you I was a little relieved as I was getting a little tired of... oh where'd you get it done... and then the look of utter shock and disbelief when I revealed that I had done it myself.

And just as I thought I was off scot free...

Yet Another Town Lady: So did you get it done here in town?

Me: Ahhh... yeah it was in town... and then I thought awe what the hell... yeah at Salon a la Kimberly, just put it up in a ponytail and chopped it off!

All the now utterly shocked Town Office ladies: Oh... my!

Me: Yeah I was just getting really sick of it and my hair had been long and boring forever... so out of the blue I decided to cut it off! Clayton of course chided me about being cheap but that really wasn't the reason... just wanted to try and cut my own hair I guess!

Town Office Lady: Oh. Well. Nice job.

Other Town Office Lady: And just tell Clayton he's wrong about you being cheap... it's when you start cutting HIS HAIR that you know you're getting a little tight with the pocket strings!

Monday, August 25, 2008

Ode to Lil' Rusty


Well Lil' Rusty it's time to say our farewell,
And knowing myself it's darn certain I'll dwell.
So I thought I'd make a final post,
As you do deserve a farewell toast!
You've been at times a trustworthy ride,
And the times you weren't, I was still on your side!
Even though it took some tender loving care,
You never left me completely stranded anywhere!
And the tales that came from you temperamental spirit,
Will be shared with anyone still willing to hear it!
So Lil' THANKS for the years of loyal determination,
And 'making memories' on every road trip vacation!
You are the first vehicle I could ever claim as mine,
You're wonderful, glorious, 100 times better than fine!
So here is my final goodbye, before I throw a fit,
And let it be known: CLAYTON IS MAKING ME DO IT!


Cheers Lil' Rusty! I love you! Really I do!



And just so you know I haven't totally abandoned Lil'...
He will be spending his retirement out on the farm in BC. I HAD just planned on giving him to Dad... but then when I fell in love with their little stud, Tex... a proposition popped into my head... so I phoned my Dad and offered to trade him Lil' Rusty for Lil' Tex...
Kimberly giving you ANOTHER horse that lives on the farm... now that's the gift that just keeps giving! Was all he really said.
Yeah Dad BUT aren't you JUST THAT GIVING of a person!
And I heard through the grape vine that after being told about my proposition a certain Uncle Hankey queried...
Wasn't she just going to GIVE you that truck?
Yeah of course I am...
But isn't Dad just going to GIVE me Tex?!!! ;)


Oh yeah and here's the reason I HAVE to GIVE UP Lil' Rusty:


Apparently GOOD gas mileage beats out RUSTIC CHARM!


We'll probably call her:

Because that's just how creative we are!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

I heard somewhere that people are most VAIN about their hair...

So after spending the summer... I mean the last 6 or 7 years... with long, scraggly, split end, BORING old hair, I decided it was time for a change. But still I did nothing about it.
Until last week...
I had just came home from work AND it had been killer hot AND I had neck sweat AND my hair was making my back incredibly itchy. I was like ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
"I am going to cut my hair off." I told Clayton.
"Yeah right!" Was his reply as he went outside.
You'd think after 4 years of dating and 1 year of marriage the man would know his wife a little better than that...
If I had just been THINKING about it... his YEAH RIGHT now put me into action!
I went into the bathroom... brushed my hair into an evenish ponytail in the middle of the back of my head... took out some scissors and cut 3/4 of the ponytail off!
VOLA!
I took a quick look and then went out to show Clayton.
"Kimberly could you come over here... OH MY GOD YOU CUT YOUR HAIR!!!" And after a closer inspection, "OH MY GOD IT LOOKS HORRIBLE! You need to call my Mom right now so she can come over and fix it!"
"Geez it doesn't look that bad... AND I'll fix it myself thank you!"
So I went back into the bathroom to inspect it myself.
And it did look pretty bad... it was longer in the front, which I actually liked... but the back was in very short and long choppy layers and the right side went straight across and was way shorter then the left side. And the bottom layer on the back went down to a point in the middle of my back.
YIKES!
So I got to work... even though I didn't know what I was doing... and in the end I think it turned out alright.
I mean an actual hairdresser would be horrified!
But it was good enough for me!

When I came back out, Clayton, after admitting it didn't look that bad, said, "When I first saw you I felt like running in and shaving off my goatee (Because I really like his goatee) BUT then I thought you'd probably go and shave your head... or something stupid like that!"
And him saying that made me feel better... because I had been a little worried that MY OWN HUSBAND didn't EVEN KNOW ME!!!
And then later he confessed that he had mentioned it to a friend and his friend was like, "You should count yourself lucky... my wife spent $250.00 on a hair style once!"

And I know you all are just DYING to see my NEW hair cut...
So here it is:





Here's a better picture showing the back better:



And just because I am THAT VAIN about my hair... here's one when it's been blow dried:


NOT THAT BAD EH?!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Hankey the Christmas Poo...

...came a little early this year!

Side note: When I told Vanessa this story we laughed the roaring, gut wrenching laughter until it's became silent because we could no longer breath... and we still kept laughing. When I told Clayton this story he just looked at me the whole time with this disgusted look on his face... like is she really continuing to talk about poo?... and then shook his head and said, "Every time you come back from BC you're a little weirder."
SO SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO FIND THE FOLLOWING STORY OFFENDING!
For those of you who find it humorous... YOU ROCK! :)
And for those of you who take pictures of your prize poos... well now even I, KIMBERLY A., thinks that's taking a little TOO MUCH pride in your poo! wink wink... you know who you are!

And so it went something like this...

My lovely Mother and I were out gallivanting as my Dad would say and decided to stop in for a visit at my Grandma and Grandpa's. We were having a good chat when all the gallivanting, compiled with the cup of tea my Grandma was keeping topped up, finally caught up with me and I realized that I had better make a trip to the facilities. And at that moment as I was about to rise from my seat to relieve myself, my lovely Mother hopped up and trotted off to make use of the toilet.

Upon her return it seemed only proper to wait a few moments rather then make a mad dash to the bathroom. So I waited. And my bladder continued to tighten. After a bit of small talk I excused myself and headed with great joy to the biffy to bring relief to my ever expanding bladder.

I pushed open the door and flipped up the toilet seat lid all prepared to take my position on the throne...
I jumped back!
And then immediately probably because I was still in disbelief of it I lean closer and peered cautiously into the toilet bowl.
Yup! I had NOT been mistaken.
Hankey the Christmas Poo had come a little early this year!
And then like any child would do... I silently cursed my NOT so lovely Mother for leaving a turd in the toilet... A turd in someone else's toilet no less! You're company at someone else's house and that's how you repay them... by leaving a floater in their biffy! It's a wonder really, I, a child of hers, have any manners what-so-ever!
DISGUSTING!
And even though it wasn't a situation I would volunteer to be in... I was, in a way, relieved that it was I who had ventured upon this nasty little gift and NOT my sweet, unsuspecting Grandparents.
So I flushed...
And I flushed...
And I flushed some more...
And that damn thing just wouldn't go down.
I think my teeth were now floating in my rising urine level so I decided to hover over the toilet because there was just nothing else to be done.
After the relief of an empty bladder my brain started to work and I searched under the sink for a plunger!
VOLA! There was a plunger to be had! Victory would be mine! This would be the home run flush for sure!
I flushed and then plunged.
I plunged and then flushed.
I plunged and flushed and plunged some more.
AND THAT DAMN NASTEY BOUYANT TURD JUST WOULDN'T GO DOWN!
I cursed. Out loud this time.
I wiped the sweat off my brow.
And I got back to work... that damn TURD was taking that journey if it was the last thing I did!
And finally after a shitload of plunging and some fancy work with the flusher I got that damn TURD to GO DOWN!
I almost flung the plunger in the air in victory. But thankfully thought better of it.
I deposited the plunger back under the sink.
Scrubbed my hands vigorously.
Adjusted my rumpled shirt, dabbed the dripping sweat off my face and patted down my hair.
I took a few deep calming breaths and exited the bathroom.

Upon arriving back at the kitchen table I noticed that my NOT so lovely Mother was laughing and had a little gleam in her eye.
As I took my seat she said, "Kimberly, your Grandpa was starting to wonder where you were, he thought you might have lain down on the couch and had fallen asleep. So I went in there to check and when you weren't there I came back here to tell him that..."
And before that manner-less women could finish and against all rational thinking (I had just spent an inordinate amount of time in a bathroom flushing someone else poo... it's bound to cloud your better judgment!) I cut her off, "WELL EXCUSE ME but I was in the BATHROOM for the last 20 minutes because MY RUDE MOTHER had left a disgusting floater in the toilet. And SOMEBODY had to take care of it!"
And that's when the gleam in her eye really started to shine...
"Honey, that little floater was in the toilet upon on my arrival too."
"Well... err... you could have... um... you could have flushed it..."
I stammered... but it was too late... I had already just dissed my Grandpa's poo... and hence his manners.
I bowed my head in shame.
But then Grandpa spoke, "Yeah that there toilet's never worked from the day we moved in here..." And then he launched into a story about some other company... the women came out shamefully to get her husband's to help her flush her little diddy and then the husband launched into a crusade to try and fix the toilet once and for all... a grand act at trying to keep others from falling victim. But all to no avail.
And hence I had the lovely chance meeting with...
Hankey the Christmas Poo.
Or maybe Grandpa had another name for him... when something is floating in a bowl for that long you're BOUND to give it a name and start feeding it at some point!
TOO FAR?
OK I'll stop now!
THE END

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

FIGURES!

Remember that post about the biking honeymoon story (I tried to insert a link here to the story but alas failed again!)... so... you know the one where we lost our valuable biking tool and Clayton had to ride around the whole island with a very forward tilting seat... cursing the happenstance that caused us to misplace this oh so important piece of cargo! Come on... I remembered our hydro packs and excuse me but I think H20 is slightly higher on the list than a little bit of a sore bottom!
Well we searched the Xterra high and low, after we completed our island biking excursion... when we got back to my parents place, we searched every nook and cranny there as well and then we decided to confirm that the tool was indeed missing in action with no hope of recovery.
So on our 1st Wedding Anniversary, after confessing to each other we both hadn't got the other a gift or even a card, Clayton stopped at Canadian Tire on our way home from camping and bought his little wifey a gift...

A BRAND SPANKIN NEW HANDY DANDY BIKE TOOL!!!
What a nice guy!
I went a whole year without my handy tool and let me tell you there were times it would have came in... yeah you guessed it ... handy!

There was that time my back brake wasn't gripping quick enough and all I needed was a simple little alan wrench that was one my hand little tool to tighten up the brake cable just a notch!

And then when I was in Tappen and some of the family went out to try the mountain bike trails my Dad had worked on and Aunty Dolores' bike peddle fell off and Dad had to hammer the nut back on with a screwdriver! Think how handy my little bike tool would have came in then!

Plus with all my other gear... hydro pack, bike gloves, helmet, pump... a cool bike tool would have just topped it all off!

So I have to say it was a pretty darn good gift. We opened it and checked out all it's gadgets on the way home from Lethbridge. Unfortunately, when we got home we had to set it aside and do the horrible job of unpacking. YUCK!

And then out of character and probably mainly because of the NEW BIKE TOOL we decided to put ALL the biking related stuff on a shelf in the basement. So I completely unpacked my hydro pack which I always take with me when biking by the way... biking gloves... head lamp... survival kit... a very old and crumpled map of trails in Medicine Hat... some Tylenol which I didn't even no was in there... and then in the little pocket, under all that crap, I reached way down and pull forth this...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...


MY OLD BIKE TOOL!
Apparently NOT missing in action and actually along with me on EVERY biking excursion.
Typical!

Monday, August 11, 2008

clayton has hacked into KB'S Blog... WOHAHAHA


After many feverish nights I have finally hacked into Kimberly's account. Since the Blog has taken over her life i have decided to end this nightmare to all. in short this will be the last posting from Kimberbucket...... Now she is all MINE!!!!!!!!!!!

ALALALALA

Frogga is great

Happy Anniversary to ME!

Happy Anniversary to me!
Happy Anniversary to me!
Happy Anniversary dear Kimberly...

OH wait... oops...

Happy Anniversary to US!
Happy Anniversary to US!
Happy Anniversary dear Clayton and Kimberly...

Anyhow you get it! One year already!

And I apologize for my REALLY infrequent posting. I promise I'll try to be better! wink wink
Got back from a wonderful... crazy busy... two and a half weeks in BC and then went to work for two days and then off for a four day weekend camping in the Crowsnest Pass for OUR anniversary! (What a slacker hey!) We had a great time camping. BUT now I am back and somewhat settled into REAL life for a little while anyhow!
So expect a post within the next couple of days...

Oh BLOGGER how I missed you! ;)