Thursday, July 24, 2008

I'm in love...

So sorry Clayton...
But I just can't help myself...
He's:
charming...
patient...
gentle...
friendly...
lovable...
strong...
gorgeous...
reliable...
sweet...
doting...
cute...
youthful...
trustworthy...
calm...
JUST AN ALL ROUND AMAZING STUD!!!

Here see for yourself...


His name is Tex and he's almost 4... yeah a little bit of a cradle robber... but WOW it's true what they say... age doesn't matter... or is that size doesn't matter??? Whatever they say... they are right!
He is the calmest, nicest horse I've ever worked with.
And I've worked with 5 horses people!
Mom and Dad pretty much took him in when he kept getting out from the neighbours... poor starving little thing.
When I first got home I went out to say hello to my horseys and the three bastard asses took off... ahh that is the one who rides us... expect for Tex. He came right over for a nuzzle. So there I was petting the one horse I didn't even know!
So I decided to train him up while I'm home. And all I can say is... if all horses were this easy to train... and someone paid me to do it... I'd do that for a living!
Worked with him three times and then today got on and rode him around the ring. The little angel stood better as I was getting on then my damn brat of a horse Keo... and that was the FIRST TIME ANYONE HAD EVER GOT ON HIM!
Some people's horses!
Anyhow I'm ready to ride... Allisey get your butt to Tappen I need a riding buddy! :)
(Dani bring out your boys... would they like to ride?)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Over the hills and far away...

So I just wanted to give my faithful readers a heads up... I am taking 2 weeks off work and going to BC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah can you tell by the number of exclamation marks that I am excited?!!!
I mean who wouldn't be...
2 WEEKS WITHOUT HAVING TO YELL AT... NAG CONSTANTLY... RESIST THE URGE TO STRANGLE... NOT EVEN HAVE TO SET EYES ON ONE OF THOSE DIRTY DISRESPECTING CREATURES THEY CALL TEENAGERS!
OH YEAH I'M EXCITED!!!
And with all the horses to be rode... mountains to be biked... hay to be delivered... water to be swam... mountain vistas to be camped... family and friends to be visited... rivers to be kayaked... trees to be climbed... grassy meadows to be napped in... I'm just not sure how much time I'll have left for blogging! (But I'll try to write... at least once or twice... wait isn't that my norm anyhow! If something funny happens... I'll make sure to share... there that's my promise... so here's to hoping something funny happens... )

So I'm going to leave you with this poem/quote I found...

It's more than the shoes, the racket or bike
It's more than your swing, the fish, or the hike
It's more than the skis, the skates, or the snow
It's ignoring the work and deciding to go.

-Kristen Sheldon

So true... more people need to do this! Yes all you Albertans... listen to the BC Hippie would ya!

Friday, July 11, 2008

Forgive me Father for I have sinned...

...Someone else’s pain gave me great pleasure!

In May I got a summer student! She brings with her a vast knowledge of computers that I will only ever fantasize about reaching. And she also brings the attitude of someone new and fresh... ready to take on anything with genuine enthusiasm.
MAKES ME SICK!
One of her main duties is organizing the Summer Fun program; activities for youth aged 10-14. And she has gone to great measures to recruit kids… even as far as phoning parents, of the kids that most sensible adults would NOT try to recruit but rather openly DISCOURAGE to sign them up. Thinking of her sanity... I mentioned this fact to her and she was all... oh I can handle it... they're not that bad... I don't take no crap, they'll listen to me!
Alrighty then!
So a few days ago she had her first activity... water games at the park!
The kids that were using the Youth Centre before hand were pretty hyper... so I was more then a little interested to see how the games went.
As soon as she walked through the door I could pretty much sum it up...
She was drenched from head to toe, bits of grass stuck in her ponytail and looking more than a bit frazzled and utterly exhausted.
With a devilish smile on my face I asked, "So how did it go?"
Her reply, "The only way to describe it is... A HELLISH ORDEAL!"
"Oh no!" I said in mock concern.
"Today is the first day I genuinely hated my job! Kids were screaming... kids were crying... kids were throwing temper tantrums... If I hear: that's not fairrrrrrrrr, ONE MORE TIME I think I might have to strangle someone!"

Sure I did feel for her... but I'm not going to lie to you here... I may have secretly wished for just a tiny weeny bit of... can I call it retribution... or maybe personal satisfaction!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

ALBERIA

When I moved out to the PRAIRIES with my sister, Corrine, for work, I was a little unsure of how I would get along...
Because...
Well...
I came from here...


And I really enjoyed my outdoor activities... and water... I could spend all day swimming or doing some sort of water sport...


And in the winter I enjoyed being out in the snow...

And even though everyone in BC warned me about the harsh winters of Alberta... I knew better... as I went to college in Lethbridge. And I can tell you Southern Alberta winters may at times be pretty darn cold but then a Chinook blows through and warms everything up... and there is never enough snow to be useful for outdoor fun!

So needless to say I was a little nervous... I mean who wouldn't be when you'd spent you whole childhood and early adulthood living in a log cabin and being able to look out any window and see something similar to this...


To set my fears even deeper, my first couple days in Bow Island were spent settling in; getting a post office box, changing to Alberta Health Care, etc.
And EVERYWHERE I went they'd say, "Welcome to Bow Island. How are you settling in? Where did you move from?"
And as soon as I'd say, from BC... Tappen, it's in the Shuswap... their face would scrunch up in disgust and they'd say, "Why on earth did you move here??? The Shuswap is SO gorgeous"
Yeah there's no need to tell me...


So I comforted myself with the knowledge that I wouldn't live here long... this move was just temporary... just get some experience in your field of study... make some money and get the hell out!
And you prairie folk have to understand that when I first moved here this is all I saw...


And when people who'd lived out on the flat all their life said, "How can you live in mountains... it feels all closed in and you can't see anything!" I'd be all like, OK I'll give you that... you can SEE FAR... but what EXACTLY is it that YOU SEE?...


And then slowly... even after some of my family lovingly coined my new home ALBERIA... I began to see things in a different light...


And I went to hidden gems of the Prairie landscape and saw some unique and amazing things...


And some of the hidden treasures weren't even that far from my door step...


And then Clayton took me fishing here...

...and I actually caught fish! 15 fish between the 2 of us in 4 hours!!! Now that kind of fishing I can handle! Never experienced that in BC!

And out for a Sunday drive along on a gravel road you may just happen to come upon a lovely peaceful sight such as this...


So I like to share the beauty with my family when they come out for a visit...


And as we all know this move has turned into NOT SO temporary as I once imagined! So it is a good thing I can now realize the beauty of the prairie landscape!
And also a saving grace...
My decision to take up quilting... scrap booking... AND BLOGGING!!!

And the final point I would like to mention about the greatness of ALBERTA...
THE PEOPLE!
Albertans are damn friendly! And it rocks!
Side note: Last summer we were back in BC checking out Clayton's Dad's recent retirement home purchased on the Shuswap, near my parent's farm. My extended family was giving him the gears about how only rich Albertans can afford lake front or lake view property. Clayton didn't say too much in response until we took a drive with my parents to check out the house. A friendly couple walking in the newly developed subdivision gave us a big wave as we drove by.
And Clayton not missing a beat said, "Oh I see... you were right, those people are definitely from Alberta, they're friendly!"


So yeah... you friendly people rule!
And not only that... most of you have one hell of a sense of humour to boot...


THE END!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Cause It Makes My Boyfriend's Junk Smell Like Pie...

Condoms...
I hate shopping for condoms. Not that I ever really do... that's a MAN'S JOB! Er... um... yeah... I just admitted that I shop for condoms... does that mean... I have SEX?! Ugh sorry Mom... not often... if that's any consolation. :) Hehehe. (FINALLY something on my blog that Clayton would more than willing agree with me on!)
Oh right I'm married now... sex is no longer a dirty word but a glorious reproductive act... ;)
Anyhow this time I was at Walmart (Yes you heard me right: WALMART... sorry Vanessa... wow this entry is turning into the tell all and then apologize about it post!) shopping for condoms... But they were for a prize for a game at the stagette I was attending. The condom prize was Clayton's idea and apparently a kinky variety pack would only suffice. So we found the kinkiest one there was... ribbed for her pleasure and blueberry to make your boyfriends junk smell like pie (Too funny THANKS JUNO!)... and headed to the till.
On the way there we ran into one of the girls who was also attending the stagette.
And I tried nonchalantly to tilt the condom package out of plain view, as we were chatting. After she left Clayton practically followed her to the till... and I had to hiss "Hello? Clayton? Could we PLEASE go to a different till... I AM buying CONDOMS here, IF you hadn't noticed!"
Then of course the other till had a way longer line and Clayton gave me the is this really necessary look.
AND OF COURSE IT WAS!

So I arrived at the stagette with my prize all beautified up and disguised in a pretty blue gift bag! Eventually we got drunk enough to play That Guy Game. I had made up cards with pictures and labels for different stereotypical guys... Married But Not Tonight Guy, I'm All That Guy, Beer Belly Guy, Too Old To Be Here Guy, etc. And everyone got a few cards and the first person to find all their guys was the winner.
It didn't take long for a winner to be declared!
So I retrieved the prize, wrapped in the cute little blue bag and gave it to the winner.
She opened it to reveal the kinky condom variety pack... and everyone laughed.
Immediately from the end of the table there was a loud, "OOOOOOHHHH! That's why you were buying CONDOMS at WALMART! I was wondering..."
Then she leaned over and said...
"I noticed right away that you had a package of condoms in your hand... and I was all like DON'T FOCUS ON HER HAND! DON'T LOOK AT HER HAND! EYE CONTACT... MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT!
AND THEN... I thought you guys were coming to the till I was at and I was all like OH MY GOD THEY ARE COMING TO THIS TILL! WHY ARE THEY COMING TO THIS TILL? DON'T COME TO THIS TILL. OH GOD PLEASE DON'T COME TO THIS TILL!"
See Clayton...
And Kimberly makes the CORRECT decision AGAIN!
YOU'RE WELCOME!

Moral of the story:
It's a MAN'S DUTY to LISTEN to his WIFE! :)